you

You are the reason for my existence.
I know why I can’t let you go; letting you go would be like losing a limb, I would always think you are present even if you had been cut off…a phantom pain still remains. I have loved you and I have hated you. Tonight, after quite so long, you made me cry again. This love, if love it can be called, is full of complexities. I don’t understand what has become of me. I don’t understand what will become of me without you. This love shames me because I know that this has to stop and it has become an embarrassment for both of us. I am the abandoned one, who is always coming back for even just scraps of what was left behind even when everything has ended. What will happen in the future, when you will be gone for forever? Will feel loneliness? Will I feel lost? Will I feel?
I am not capable of letting you go. I can’t do it. I love you. I love you once and I will love you forever. Impossible, nonetheless.
You act so nonchalant. My bouts of anger do not touch you. You are unreachable. While here I am, exposing myself, removing barriers, putting down defenses so that you can reach me. But still, you don’t. I have asked for closure, a sense of finality. But I don’t ask for us to be back again. I realize just now, that I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to drown in your eyes and be lost in your smile and be fooled by what you say. Believing you gain would result to my destruction.
Sometimes, I wish I have someone who would love me more than I have loved you. A creature of extraordinary proportions such that can only be experienced in dreams.
I will never be free. I will never feel loved.
That is my curse.
I can love until there is no more, but no love can ever be returned.

happy

And now here I am
Ready to stand on top of the world
Scream at the top of my lungs
Raise my arms high above
Jump so high I could fly
Leap a billion miles to reach my dreams
I have passed
Something that might seem so simple
And yet to me is so big a deal
I have passed
I have conquered
In my own little world
This existence that battled against the evil that was failure
I have passed
No one can take it away from me now


I want to run so far just because I can
I want to scream and dance because in want to
I want to kiss and hug because I need to let them feel
These feelings I know that’s inside me
Wanting to get out and envelope everyone in the same happiness I feel

mine

The pain reminds me of everything I have to lose when I lose this chance
This last chance to prove I’m more than meets the eye
The eye that judges so harshly with just the outer layers of a person
The person that must prove his worth to live a worthy life
A life that may or may not be what it seems to be


So full of dreams and hopes as we come to the real world
The real world so wrapped in disillusions
Disillusions that bring us down, so deep that we may never get up
Get up to bring forth more dreams but this time tinged with harsh reality
Harsh reality that makes the wonderful so mediocre

But life always has its saving grace that brings hope
Hope that makes all the sufferings worthwhile because of the uncertainty of the future
The future which we decide for ourselves, that which we can change
The change that will make or break us or turn us back to where we were before

stars and the night sky

underneath a blanket of stars
amidst the harsh city lights
the quiet of the stillness of the night sky
the noise and hubbub of the city highways
i learn to feel the rhythm of both worlds
the haste, the stillness blend together
that peaceful feeling of sweet surrender
never more can you find a better reality
than what we have and what we might get
to seem surreal
yet act so real
amidst this vast expanse of the universe
towards time which lasts for years to come

don't just speak up, BE HEARD!

how will you ever let them hear what you want to be heard when all you do is speak up at quite a moderate volume? Nowadays, it's not really just the content of what you're really saying that matters, it's also the loudness of your voice. So SAY IT LOUDER! and then, you'll be heard.

a new hope

to speak as if you've never spoken

to listen as if you've never heard
to look as if you've never seen
to laugh as if you've never laughed

the life and love of old has been forgotten
we have what we are now
we have
and we will keep on having
the future may seem uncertain
but the present is what we make
these things they may deem unworthy
but we choose to make it worthy

we are what we have now,
we choose to have
we will have them
and in the end not just be content
but happier than we were then

say no to stress

I miss days like these when there seems to be a hand stopping the impending doom that we call school. Life is a little too hectic for me right now, like a car on full speed without brakes; only one way to go: we crash and burn. But then again, we have the ingenuous creation called the internet where we can just simply CHILL. **sigh, feelings of bliss...tomorrow is too far away. What matters is right here and right now.

har-di-har

the victimized student

Apparently, we are martyrs doomed to the life-less existence.
I am resigned to the fact that this school needs not only sweat and tears but blood itself to survive. It needs not only sleepless nights but also hunger, thirst, and beating up our bodies just to be able to comply.
There is only one thing that I fear in the future
That these sufferings may be in vain
Because we cannot apply it in real life.

galing kai bob ong

“Ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko.”