Pretty Food...and tasty too!

Horrible photo, did not do justice to the food. Tsk, tsk.

Rawr means I love you in dinosaur

I have a strange relationship with my ex-boyfriend. Whenever I feel down, I turn to him to cheer me up and he does a brilliant job of it. Whenever I feel elated at a recent success, he is the first one I want to talk to about it. We have been together for a year and when we broke up, it was terrible as some break ups go. Even then, we were still communicating and eventually we became close friends, even closer than we had been before. After 4 years, he has become my best pal. We may not have been a success as a couple but as friends, we are certainly rocking it. I am at a stage in my life where I feel like a failure because jobs are hard to come by for fresh grads, through it all he has been my one-man cheering squad. I never hesitate to tell him anything, and he has been very patient with me. I do not know any other guy pal who can bear to listen to my woes, nor any of my girl friends who I can speak to with the same honesty as I talk to him. He is not perfect; he is actually a very forgetful person and it is one of the most annoying things that I hated about him when we were together. He also tends to tease me and mock me, which in a boyfriend is a very annoying attitude but a very endearing one in a friend, no awkwardness involved.  My ex-boyfriend is my rock in the sea of chaos. This is getting dramatic but it is true. Its how I feel. And there’s no one else in my life who has done as much as he did and is currently doing. I love him, of course. But I am safe in the thought that we will never be together again, I do not think I can handle a relationship right now, I am like the infamous Tumblr meme: doomed to be forever alone. 

For the love of the beautiful game

What I miss the most about Football is cheering for it. I miss staying up in the early hours, my hands sweating with anticipation, that tingly feeling in the stomach, the alertness in my brain readying myself for anything and everything that could happen in 90+ minutes. I miss cheering, crying, laughing, hating—all the addictions of a football fan. I tell you, being a football fan is more than the cumulative effect of the upper and downer drugs in the world. The feeling of community from football fans from around the globe is beautiful. It is on times like these when I believe in the power of humanity. You see, even if we are so far apart, we have a common love; Football is a beautiful game. 

Remember when you fell in love with football

from: inbedwithmaradona

Football keeps me up at night and early on the next day.

11:00 on a Sunday night and I am faithfully stationed in front of my computer, waiting for live streams from football matches around Europe. Time and date ceases to matter. My state of anxiety is on the moderate scale; focus narrowed on only this game and nothing more beyond that. This is my life right now. And if things go as I planned, I'd be doing the same thing in the future. Maybe even be writing about it as a professional. God I love football. So much passion and life in one sport. It keeps me alive during the dull dreary moments of my life. 

The above photo is my future workplace(one could dream). I've been a fan of Opta for a while now and I've loved how they get the most accurate statistics about football to keep fans and journalists informed. One of my favorite bloggers got a visit to the headquarters and he tweeted that it had monitors where you can watch and compare videos of any and all things related to football. Imagine that. Simply heaven. 

GAGA KA! -Words of Wisdom about love and lust from Mr. Psyche Lecturer

"Anak, huwag na huwag kang magpapakatanga! Kung sinampal ka nang nobyo mo, uulit-ulitin niya yan! Kaya ngayon pa lang hiwalayan mo na siya! Gamitin mo lang konti pero hiwalayan mo din!" 

-about early signs of an abusive boyfriend.

"Pag may nagtangkang mang-rape sa'yo, kausapin mo at pakiusapan ang rapist. Ang tingin nyan sa iyo ay hindi tao kundi object lang! kaya kailangan mong ipakita na tao ka!"

-on rape

"kayong mga babae pag may mga boyfriend kayo nawawala nag independence nyo, lahat nalang nang desisyon tinatanong pa sa boyfriend! Huwag kayong magpaka-bobo! Hidni dapat 100% ang ibinibigay nyo! Dapat magtira kayo para sa sarili nyo!"

-on girls in relationships

"Ang Diet ay para ma-control ang cholesterol etc. intake! Hindi para pumayat! kung gusto nyong pumayat mag exercise kayo! Hindi diet ang solusyon para pumayat kayo!"

-on diet and exercise

My Drug dependence. (That refers to YOU, FYI)

Are you struggling with a drug problem that’s spiraled out of control? If so, you may feel isolated, helpless, or ashamed. 

 This has spiraled out of control. I thought I had it all under wraps. But then again, I had several episodes of remission until I finally succumbed to it.

The path to drug addiction starts with experimentation. You  may have tried drugs out of curiosity, because friends were doing it, or in an effort to erase another problem. At first, the substance seems to solve the problem or make life better, so you use the drug more and more.

 The path to drug addiction paved the way for self destruction. I meant to be more independent but now, I depend on YOU for everything. Which just goes to show how utterly spineless I am. Yeah, it was all rainbows and unicorns at first, but then it started to ruin that system I built when you were gone before. the rollercoaster begins again.

 Myths about Drug Addiction and Substance Abuse

MYTH 1: Overcoming addiction is a simply a matter of willpower. You can stop using drugs if you really want to.

• ALL LIES! Willpower is usually the first thing to crumble. In my case, that is. 

MYTH 2: Addicts have to hit rock bottom before they can get better. 

• I've been hitting rock bottom so many times I've lost count, but still I don't get better. 

MYTH 3: Treatment didn’t work before, so there’s no point trying again; some cases are hopeless.

• This isn't true! I'm still holding out hope that there could be an effective treatment out there and I have yet to discover or try it. I don't need time nor space (Since those two just make me miss more) but I need diversionary activity so powerful I eventually forget.

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And this is the part where I realize I could be offending some people by comparing my predicament with drug addiction. See how utterly lame I've become?!
And I've been listening to the same two songs for an hour because of the nostalgic feeling they give me.


I'm sick with it again.

but where are you?

Someone just told me I look ugly in my photo. At first, I was like, Okay, he's just teasing, but then he repeated it again and my fragile self esteem went shooting down the drain. So of course, I look for redemption from friends and guess who I thought of first?! Well, you. But you weren't there...and I waited! =(

I know I shouldn't rely on you to make myself feel good again but it's just so freaking addictive. You make me feel like everything else doesn't matter because you still care. When I tell you about it, you consider it in ways that make those annoyances go away, and I know other people can do that for me but you just make it feel more special, somehow. 

This is not good. I'm becoming dependent. 

And you're still nowhere to be found. 

if...

If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me. But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.


from: tumblr.com
http://astroannie.tumblr.com/post/870751447/if-you-are-going-to-fall-in-love-with-me-its-only

3 words, 8 letters...

it could be true...or not

SAUDADE

In the advent of a new era of my long forsaken heart

I am still in love with you. I had a speech written out for you all this time, yet I don't want to tell you because it doesn't really matter now. 
And WTH! 
I will not be emo!
NOT!
I love you anyway.
Love you! Love you, love you, love you, love you.
There. I'll say it over and over again because it matters to me.
I love you. *sigh*
I don't mind if you don't love me too...I'm happy anyway.
Remember that song you once sent me, 

"I want you to love me, but I don't think you will."
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt.
I'll say "I love you" to the one I love

Do you love me or not?
I don't care what the answer is, I just need to know!
No matter how badly I desire to be with you
There are many unchangeable things in this world
and my love for you
can't be stopped by anyone

As 1000 nights pass, I long to tell you
I have to let you know
"I want you to love me, but I don't think you will."
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt.
I'll say "I love you" to the one I love
Putting these feelings into words is so scary
but I'll say "I love you" to the one I love

The happiness we chance upon in our lives can't be expressed in words
That's why we can only smile
Why we sing "do re mi" among the vivid autumn colors
With winter at our backs, and the spring sunbeams peeking through the leaves
as to protect someone who's just been reborn

As I looked at the road I'd traveled and the path ahead,
my eyes were filled with cowardice
I wanted to look into your eyes, but was afraid I wouldn't be honest
I didn't want to know that you didn't love me
and live the rest of my days alone
That day, I kept on loving you without getting hurt

As 1000 nights pass, I long to tell you
I have to let you know
"I want you to love me, but I don't think you will."
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It's the only answer I have, even if I'm scared of getting hurt.
I'll say "I love you" to the one I love
Even if my feelings aren't returned, I can say "I love you" to the one I love
And that's the most beautiful thing in the world

HELL YEAH! It's MY SONG NOW. 
I Love you.
Xoxox

KimPossible hearts RonStoppable

Starting this blog with a note of regrets...

To that person who will always be my biggest What-If. What a typical little what-not when I only just found out that the time I was pining for you, unbeknown to me, you were pining for me too. We were both pining for each other yet we never knew. But now that we do, it's just to late to do something about it because the moment has gone by and passed away along with the passing of time. Time do heal all wounds but it covers up the memories too, and with it goes the feeling of what we've shared. *sigh. What if? But that question shall always remain unanswered. For now.