WTF moment #1

Down. Down. Down.
I'm so stupid I only just realized that I've been in denial for the past four years. I keep telling myself, this is a good course to take, this is my choice. NOT. WTF, I wanted UPM, I wanted to be with him but I convinced myself that it's going to be hard because someone warned me that's the way it'll be. Just warned me about unrepeatable stuff that'll probably make me hate her forever. And now my head's out of the water, I can finally say I effing hate where I am now. My life is like mud. MUD. Effing Mud.

Studying?! Bah Humbug!

I say whatever to everything. I do not want to study. I have not read/browsed/studied anything related to my course right now. This is pure primal laziness. Or just plain disinterest. I seriously want to just dump everything, grab a bag, get a visa, get a passport and fly to Europe and work at any job and then make something of myself. I hate being here, like I'm stuck in mud.