Not a movie review.

A Bout de Souffle (Breathless)

Jean-Luc Godard (1960)

I have a fascination for black and white movies. I find them romantic. I love unconventional stories. This film is a wonderful movie to watch. Jean Seberg looks ethereal, the American in France who falls for a Michel (sometimes his name), a crook. I love their conversations, reminds me of another favorite film of mine; Before Sunrise/Sunset.
Next film is La Vita e Bella (because my favorite F1 driver loves it and I heard it's really good) and M, a German film.

Books and Chocolates go hand in hand

Books I bought for less than 200 php. Amazing finds. And then some chocolates. ;)

p.s. I do not know what the fuck is going on with Blogspot but my photos have disappeared and are replaced by a black box with an exclamation point. What the bloody fuck

forever a nerd

Got my first paycheck (from my part time online job) and the first thing I could think of is, "What book should i buy?". It's not quite a large amount so I'll have to budget it but then again, it's my first paycheck from doing something I love=writing. :)

It is quite all right to judge a book by its cover, nowadays. People did work hard to make them attractive.

the story of my first story

I wrote my first story when I was 12 years old. It was for a school writing assignment. I wanted to impress my English teacher because she was kind of like Miss Jenny in Matilda. I had a lot of favourite teachers when I was in grade school but this English teacher (who I could not remember the name today, but I remember her as an indistinct, plump figure with curly hair and a kind smile—she was just a substitute then) was my most favourite of them all. So we were told to write a short story as our final assignment for that school year and I wanted to write the best story ever but I ended up consuming an entire notebook plus a few pages of writing paper attached haphazardly to the notebook, it was not a short story. I thought everyone was impressed by my efforts; they kept borrowing to read it and said it was real good. Of course, we were sixth graders back then so it’s not really as impressive as it sounds. I found out my teacher never checked the notebooks. She placed them in a cupboard and allowed dust to gather until I unearthed them and saved the notebooks from oblivion. I was bitterly disappointed and vowed never to put that kind of effort in school projects thus the procrastination started. It was not my first story, I’ve been constructing stories in my mind since I learned how to think aka since I started reading books. Sometimes they are stories from books I’m reading, when I’m not fully satisfied with the stories and wanted to add a bit of a personal touch to them, hence the editing started. My mind is like the universe where I travel in my own personal TARDIS to different times, dimensions and worlds (since I can't deal with reality that well). COOL.COOL.COOL

ALLONS-Y!

David Tennant is a brilliant man. 

He's Gone.

It's official. Strange, I feel...nothing. Perhaps it is because I have already said my goodbyes. Or maybe it is just the initial shock. He's truly gone. Goodbye Skipper. An era has ended in the Emirates. Goodbye.

Autographs and grim stars

I have this pet peeve about famous people who sign autographs looking so grim or sullen. I was just watching this video of Sebastian Vettel grimly signing autographs.If I were a fan in that position, right in front of him, and a few inches away where we are breathing the same air, well I’d be very excited. Imagine that, a person I look up to who is always seen laughing and smiling on videos is looking so grim while signing fan autographs. It would be disappointing and I don’t think I’d want his autograph anymore. I love Seb and all and his hand, which is bandaged for unknown reasons, must hurt but at least he should smile for the fans or give a little grin. Not to keep our hopes up or anything but just to be really decent to the people behind the fence who went through a lot of trouble to get his autograph. It happened to me before, it was in this political movement concert which features a lot of local bands and my ultimate lead singer of a local band crush will be playing. Well we went to the stage, illegally, and watched the band play just a few inches from us. I was screaming inside, it was an excellent view. We waited to take pictures with him after the show, a local TV show was interviewing him and a few other girls were already taking pictures, and when our turn came well, it was disappointing because he was looking so grim and did not even smile during the photo. My heart, which until that moment had ballooned to a bursting point, deflated. It was disappointing really and I was an unhappy fan after everything we’ve gone through to get there. It’s difficult being in their place, I know that and it can be really tiresome having to sign autographs and take pictures and smile in every one of them but don’t you think they should give us a decent appearance that they are happy that we’re there for them? Huh. If I were to be a star one day, I’d definitely smile even if my face hurts from always smiling.

My one and only photo with a celebrity I liked

The heroine takes comfort in forgetting

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd

B.U.M.

I am currently living the bum life.

• B – Boring
• U – Uh-oh
• M – Maddening

Bum. But there’s always a silver lining for every dark cloud which hovers, Eeyore-like, over my head. 

   11  Realizations

1.  I have had two boyfriends but I have never been on an official date. (The date that involves dining out, talking, and getting to know each other) Not a single date.
2.   I used to think that I could live under a rock forever. Living the Patrick Star life of sleep, eat, tv/internet, eat and sleep. Now I don’t. Life is for living and staying inside my room for a million years does not seem like a good prospect now.
3.   I am desperate for a job. I want to try out writing. I never realized how serious i was about writing as a career until I started applying for writing jobs and getting rejected in every single one.
4.   I need books. Books are my companions. I need them as much as I need air, water and food. It is vital that I read or else I’ll go stupid.
5.   I became stupid. Wow, I miss lectures. So much that I started listening to online lectures about English, Literature, Art and philosophy. If I ever get the chance to study again, I’d definitely take them up.
6. §  Writing is difficult. When I was younger, I have this idea of myself as a Superman-Writer. I could write anything and everything. Just give me pen and paper and I‘d write. Now that I’m older I realize that I am a Clark Kent too. By day I am ordinary and when the world is getting desperate, Superman comes out.
7.   Money matters. In life it does. It helps keep the world going. Yes it does not make the world go round by itself but it is one important factor. Gone are the days when bargaining things for skills could keep you alive. Now you need money.
8.   Never count your chicks before they are hatched. ‘Tis true what the famous line says; if you forget a life lesson it will keep coming back until you’ve put it to heart. I am cocky because I can write and speak better than most people. It is a heady talent to be able to do that among my peers, of course reality comes to give you a much needed bitch slap; there will always be someone lesser and better than  you so away with the cockiness.
9.   Hate is vitriol. You can love a person but that does not mean you have to like her. I am irritated by stupidity. I fear stupidity because it is crippling. Stupidity will make me a lesser person, stupidity will not make me appreciate great novels, stupidity will hinder my learning and stupidity will cripple my writing. Stupidity is a choice. Never choose stupidity.
10.   Failure is inevitable. Especially after College. I have tried thrice and have failed thrice. Third time was never the charm. I have doubted myself and I have consoled myself.
11. Keep going. I tell myself to do just that. My wallpaper says, “What’s holding you back?” My fears, self doubts, insecurities. Now that the question has been answered, i now pose a challenge to myself; Everyone deserves a chance to fly. So I will.