Sunny side up

On the brighter side of things, I do love my color, yellow. It's because of Spongebob, my favorite sponge under the sea. Yellow just looks pretty and catchy. It stimulates the eye, plus it keeps me happy seeing my yellow stuff all piled up. I finally have a favorite color, and it took only Spongebob Squarepants to inspire me to what it is.

Birthdays just stress me out

For the following reasons:

1. I am a very insecure person. On this day, my insecurities reach the level of their full potential. Go figure.
2. I'm so concerned about not wanting to be greeted with a "Happy Birthday". It's so cliche. Just because it's a birthday doesn't always mean it's happy. I'm not happy. I want the day to end. Fast.
3. This day I got a cold. On previous birthdays, i got some unfortunate mishaps which shall not be repeated. This getting-a-cold thing is mild compared to all the other stuff.
4. Money. I don't want to spend money. Every single minute of the day there are subtle signs that I should spend money. I say NO.
5. I cringe every time someone greets me a happy birthday and tells me I'm getting older. UGH.
6. I secretly take note of those who greet me, which is a bad habit, then I debate with myself if I should say thanks or have the right to ignore their greetings for reasons stated in number 2.
7. I just want to be left alone.
8. I hate going out to do meaningless stuff when I could just stay on my room and contemplate about myself, how I've changed, how I am as a person. I want evaluate who I've been, who I'm becoming and if I'm going for my dreams instead of sitting out a formal dinner with strangers.
9. I want to go shopping too, alone.
10. I want to try some new stuff by myself. it's my "me" time.

Hey, I only get this once a year, so hell yeah, I'd milk it for all it's worth!

Starting this blog with a note of regrets...

To that person who will always be my biggest What-If. What a typical little what-not when I only just found out that the time I was pining for you, unbeknown to me, you were pining for me too. We were both pining for each other yet we never knew. But now that we do, it's just to late to do something about it because the moment has gone by and passed away along with the passing of time. Time do heal all wounds but it covers up the memories too, and with it goes the feeling of what we've shared. *sigh. What if? But that question shall always remain unanswered. For now.

pre-season friendlies and transfer talks

transfers:
Thierry Henry to New York red bulls...say what?! Titi is unfortunately gone from Arsenal and is now in New York to "try to win another trophy". Tsk* I really have reservations about American football because I don't think they really could get the real potential of their football players.
While Titi is in the states, it's Bocanegra in France. He'll be playing for Saint Etienne.
Landon Donovan from LA Galaxy to Everton.
Xabi Alonso transfers to Real Madrid!!!
On the other hand, NO arsenal for Gourcuff. Sad. Chamakh was really expecting him to be signed but apparently, he was too expensive for them. So I guess that discontinues the bromance between the two.
Neuer says No to possible transfer and remains LOYAL to Schalke 04.
And of course, the battle between barcelona and arsenal for Cesc Fabregas. Arsenal is not willing to let him go without a fight, i daresay it's high time for Cesc to decide what to do and not leave us hanging. Hopefully, he'll transfer...it'll be good to be in a new club for more exposure and a different experience. =)


Pre-season Friendlies
 It has started! Although the updates I received need to be translated...I'm presuming that my favorite Girondins de Bordeaux is going strong and it's international players are back in training though not yet playing.
Meanwhile, some clubs are keeping their international players, fresh from the world cup, away from the field. I suppose they'll let them play only when needed. They need all the rest they can get. The world cup was quite grueling both mentally and physically.

Keeping out the ball

Casillas and Neuer. Those two really showed their worth at the World Cup. One went on to become the world champions and the other was missed in the third place match. How hard can a goalie's life be? When you're protecting that net to keep away any attempts from the opposition for scoring, you have your team's life at risk. I love seeing goalies like Casillas and Neuer at play. They have this tendency to fly in any direction to stop the ball.  Flying in football? Just one of the many amazing stunts this beautiful game has to offer.

And then the one where I really want to see Gourcuff play some real football

Gourcuff. I don't like him just for his looks. I want his incredible footy skills that got him called as "Petit Zizou" What happened? I never saw him spark in the world cup, to be fair, neither have Messi, Ronaldo and KaKa been on their prime too, but you know about great expectations. It was a real disappointment. Hopefully, this club season will prove to be a brighter prospect for Gourcuff. He may have regained his skills in the field and to put away the (rumored) tug-of-war in transfer prospects. I want to see him play like when he (and M. Chamakh) led Girondins to the Ligue 1 championships. Is that too much to ask?!

Here's Football!

It's no wonder I take absolutely no interest in my studies when I'm still fresh from a World Cup hang over. Even the jabulani and vuvuzela's have been missed. Terrible. And as I am still in the middle of football nostalgia (which I shall soon overcome), my priorities in life has been on the zigzag track to nowhere. Argh. I miss football. I miss the German NT, the drama of the FRench NT, the proud Brazil NT, Wacky Maradona and even C.Ron. FOOTY!

climbing my ladder...

Waka Waka

The plan was to go to Ayala to scout for dresses for the party. I was drunk with the world cup at that time,  the acquaintance was the last thing on my mind. All I could think about was that there could be a giant jabulani waiting for me at the mall. I dragged my friends over for a bout of photo opportunities and there you go...the closes thing I could get to the world cup! My heroes in cardboard...or playing in the flat screen. i remembered so well that they were replaying the Uruguay match. I thank the bats for their support of my mania. I even got a picture with Cristiano, like we were playing together! LMAO. And btw, the jabulani only reached to my waist. LOL. but that did not stop me from dreaming of taking it home, or getting that germany jersey from the mannequin. :)

you

You are the reason for my existence.
I know why I can’t let you go; letting you go would be like losing a limb, I would always think you are present even if you had been cut off…a phantom pain still remains. I have loved you and I have hated you. Tonight, after quite so long, you made me cry again. This love, if love it can be called, is full of complexities. I don’t understand what has become of me. I don’t understand what will become of me without you. This love shames me because I know that this has to stop and it has become an embarrassment for both of us. I am the abandoned one, who is always coming back for even just scraps of what was left behind even when everything has ended. What will happen in the future, when you will be gone for forever? Will feel loneliness? Will I feel lost? Will I feel?
I am not capable of letting you go. I can’t do it. I love you. I love you once and I will love you forever. Impossible, nonetheless.
You act so nonchalant. My bouts of anger do not touch you. You are unreachable. While here I am, exposing myself, removing barriers, putting down defenses so that you can reach me. But still, you don’t. I have asked for closure, a sense of finality. But I don’t ask for us to be back again. I realize just now, that I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to drown in your eyes and be lost in your smile and be fooled by what you say. Believing you gain would result to my destruction.
Sometimes, I wish I have someone who would love me more than I have loved you. A creature of extraordinary proportions such that can only be experienced in dreams.
I will never be free. I will never feel loved.
That is my curse.
I can love until there is no more, but no love can ever be returned.