PULPO PAUL, ADIOS

I'm bringing out the balloons and party hats and hosting a party!

Twitter conversation regarding Paul:

Me: Whoah,paul the octopus is dead...yehy! Bwahaha. #paul #octopus #worldcup
Me again: i'm reading a lot of ridiculously funny obituaries about paul the now-dead octopus.
Friend: @me "paul-the-now-dead-octopus" haha
Me: @friend i hate that octopus yan. he's better off dead before i hunt him down. and eat him. slowly and painfully. raw. hahahha..JK
Friend: hahaha that's a lot of hatred right there! haha pero bitaw, samok kaayo to nga octopus ba. maayo ra namatay hehe
Me: mao jud. annoying predictor. makasira sa excitement
Me: So long, Paul...The ink will run dry on this obituary,& within your own body, long before the jokes do-Goal.com. LMAO. #paul #dead #octopus

Yeah, he's THAT ugly.

What the...

You don rose colored glasses and you see the world in rosy tints, you remove them and you see its bleak reality.

You put back the glasses because you would rather live a lie. 

Humanity.

"I was standing just inside the door of the pavilion. watching as men hauled her out of the stretcher into the waiting bed inside the grimy provincial ambulance that could be her last ride..."

It was not a gloomy day. There was not a sun to be seen but its light filtered through the dense white clouds. The wind picked up just as we were guiding the stretcher out of the pavilion. Squeak, squeak, it was rusty. Grunts heard as they tried carrying her dead weight. Stop. The linens were an obstruction. Continue. They were then removed. She still has her tubes attached to her body. The bag valve mask that no one was pumping was not putting air into her lungs. A woman's loud voice echoes into the suddenly quiet crowd of observers, "Get the tubes out. You must do it yourselves. We are not accountable to that outside these hall" The man looked in confusion. He does not know how. Yet, they have made a choice. A choice as instructed by the sick woman herself. They have to go home. So, he gingerly places his fingers into the plaster that holds the tube in place. Instructions were given by the woman from inside the bounds of the pavilion. Out, it came. Harsh. I could sense not a hint of remorse from their voices. Like a bad drama, the crowd thickened and looked on. They were deathly quiet, though. It was not unlike a funeral, seeing a woman go. Away from the place that should have offered health. 

 There was a bed in the place that seemed to take the worst ones in. This time, it was a diminutive girl who defiantly sits up against the doctor's orders. She was 28 years old. But unlike other 28 year olds, she had a mental illness and her body was built like a child's, she had dwarfism. As if fate could not be more cruel to her, she was also sexually abused by a stranger. Now she is with child. A child she could not have known existed in her belly. She looks around her with discord. She does not like what she is seeing. The cries, the groans, the grimaces. It was not a place of peace. She frequently mutters pleas to get home. Sometimes, her mood hits her and she demands it while clutching at her IV line until it bleeds. She wants out. Now. She could sense the growing sense of unease this place has given her. Morning, night this is all she faces. She wants to go home. 

Ganun.My Black Cat day.

 I still hate waking up in the early mornings! And this day turned to be somewhat god-awful...but then I decided to turn it around...It's all in the mind! :p

What happened:

 You know that effing it's-too-early-to-wake-up-and-my-body-doesn't-want-to feeling?! well, i get loads of it just about every morning. i still never get used to it. This day was doom and gloom. I anticipated not going inside  so i didn't take any breakfast. Turned out, I got called in and i was already too hypoglycemic to function well. A few hours later, we got out (thank goodness) and we had breakfast at Jollibee! hahah..where we discussed about our friends (whom I miss very much_). but when I went back, i discovered my backpack has decided to terminate its life, the zippers went gaga and i couldn't close it.

"Don't panic": my mantra throughout that ordeal. I had too many things and it all came spilling out of my huge backpack. Plus, i couldn't get home yet because we had to take freaking diagnostic tests. I was really glad for this great couple who helped me try to fix my backpack (it ended up worst than what we started with---but it's the thought that counts right?!)

"I must not panic": the mantra was turning into a desperate plea. I do have my black cat moments; just like our dear leader who anticipates the oncoming rush of bad luck just to get it over with. Well, thinking positive helped a lot. I found a powerbooks cellophane bag and used it. I was supposed to leave my dead backpack there but my groupmates convinced me otherwise. So i had to carry a gaping backpack all the way home.

Funny how the mind works. The mantra worked. I didn't panic.

The thoughts that kept me calm:

• Don't panic
• I must NOT panic
• breathe a little, there's still time
• There's always a solution, i must not panic
• I'm going to fix this and I know I must not PANIC
• The problem isn't going to fix itself so FAST, enjoy some other stuff to keep myself happy
• Preoccupation with enjoyable stuff can keep me calm
• My will is strong, and I ALWAYS FIND A WAY to fix something, therefore, I SHALL.

It worked!

Mindpower rocks!

ps

I had a black cat day previously too, i panicked a little. Practice, practice, practice works!

My favorite Poem

Because whenever i read it, hope shines bright. Nevertheless, the poem may be melancholy but there's something about it that I really love. 


A Dream within a Dream
by Edgar Allan Poe

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream

That We Live In A Third World Country

To all the dreamers, who were once allowed to dream. 

To all the well wishers, fairy godmother believers, falling star hopefuls.

And to the unhappy.  

This is for you.  

I have decided to write about the injustice of it all. We were born in this country, a nation mostly of the poor. We grow up hearing about the wonders of dreams. They take you anywhere, we were told. Just BELIEVE. And we did just that. We believed, and wished and prayed that one day, we will achieve our dreams. We learned in High School that we must have a career path. Plans were made, choices done and ideal future jobs dreamed about. In the midst of all the wonderful chaos, we are subtly reminded of something. It's that niggling sensation at the back of your mind, reminding you of something you might have forgotten. Reality strikes and you come face to face not with what you want or need but what your parents and the rest of your family silently demands. This is not of a career that you love, that penniless job which makes you happy because of the self fulfillment it offers, but of the money.

One day, nursing boomed here. Not long after, schools started bursting forth like mushrooms, the demand was high for nursing education and we can supply nursing institutions. Money pouring out of your parents pockets into the ones of the somewhat opportunistic schools. Your parents have dreams for you, this is to pay the debts they acquired for you education, the money needed by your siblings for their education. Look at her daughter, she works abroad, what big house they have! You feel the pressure growing and you succumb, It is after all, your responsibility.

There are so many situations like this all over the Philippines. It is not only Nursing, but in other courses too. But in my experience, nursing is where you can find the least, the most and the uninterested. The most brilliant people go for nursing, the doctors you knew of then are now studying nursing. The least interested in a medical course is here too. They are the artists of every kind. Their art restricted because it does not pay. And then there are the uninterested. They have ceased to care. 

Dreams crushed. Dreams trampled. Dreams killed.

Reality.

We live in a third world country. And this country needs money. Everyone needs money. money, money, money, money. Forget your dreams, money comes first. 

Money. 

Now, if only I had it, I'd be living in somewhere like France. I'd be a pauper there. I wouldn't mind. As long as nobody demands me to give them money, money, money. 

Of the Modern Damaso

Remember freedom?! just because i live in a catholic country does not make me one by default. I refuse to be a part of that circus.-moi

I used to sit in a church pew and listen to the gospel, thinking that "I could recite these stuff in my sleep, replace this priest and make a better job of it". That was the turning point of my growing animosity for my country's primary religion. This is further augmented by the priests' interjection of their opinions on stuff that they should just have left alone. The problem with religion in this country is that they plant seeds into the minds of their faithful participants. These seeds are poison. They pollute. They serve to diminish the freedom to think for themselves, to see the world in their own point of view. Because they want the people to think like they do. This is a violation of freedom. This is against human rights. And then they dare accuse a man of a crime called "offending religious feelings". 

Yes, I do think they are villains. There are good guys, sure. There are those who are truly selfless in their ways of seeking spirituality, those priests who make religion seem right. But, they are a scarcity. 

The Catholic Church is a huge part of a Filipino's everyday life. In a country who prides itself in being democratic, we are perversely bound by a religion who holds us in scrutiny. Our actions must hold up to the measure of being a good Catholic, their measuring stick with cracks here and there, adjustable with the right amount, the right gift, and the right motivation. Look at us now, trying to move forward in the modern century by updating ourselves through bills that must first face the Catholic Church's inquisition before they can be passed, they must first be held as Morally Good by the standards of those whose morality are tainted with acts of immorality. 

The Church has made no secret of it's position on the Reproductive health Bill. They say it's not morally sound, they say it's promoting abortion. I say the Catholic Church must be blind to the growing numbers of Filipina's who are suffering because of poor Sex Education. They must be deaf to the screams of poor women raped, of young children who suffer through labor pains, women who deserve the right to be sexually educated at an early age. Our country has been demanding the need for more bills like that for so long. We are overpopulated, we are desperate to end our troubles, we need change fast, before we get to the point of no return. We need bills like the RH Bill because they pave the way through the country's salvation. There are too many people suffering, and the most heartbreaking thing is that they are now resigned to their lives. They put too much faith in a religion that tells them to leave the rest to God. But when they are the poor, uneducated class, "the rest" means most of everything. It eventually leads to nothing.

More people need to stand up and fight for the bill. This is not to make us sexually promiscuous, because who are we kidding?! We are the country made famous by mail order brides and internet sex-cams, we have long been aware of sex. We are not ignorant about sex, but we are ignorant of safe sex practices. The church must not have heard of STD yet, or they are refusing to acknowledge it. 

I'll end this rant before I get too offensive. I'm atheist and proud of it. 

:)