Abnormal University of the Queen City of the South
College of Curses
Dead President's Boulevard Queen City of the South 6000
Third World Country
Dear Sir and Madam:
Greetings of loathsomeness!
It has come to my attention that for so many years now, your abysmal institution has been treating your student body akin to an evil war lord treating his lowly minions. Perhaps it may have escaped your notice that we are human beings, just because we have persevered in finishing our studies at your pigsty of an institution does not make us your cattle. We still have some semblance of individualism remaining in us, we are not yet so brain washed that we succumb to your demands so easily. This letter is not only about my repugnance to your insipid teaching and administrative skills but also to bring to light what you have been trying to do to us to prepare us to enter society: treat us like scum.
We are but a few days away from ending 4 years of trauma but it has proven to be the most horrible hurdle of all, and trust me, this is no mean feat to topple all previous dreadfulness we have encountered. We are like battle weary soldiers and we have the scars to prove it. You may wonder why we find the path to graduation so difficult to journey through when you have paved a path so easy? Well, to explain it in terms you find easy to understand, the path you paved is like the proverbial "easy path"...to hell. We worked so hard to get to where we are and you know we are desperate to graduate, so why are you making it so difficult to do so?! We only need the instructors' presence and attention to complete the requirements yet they are seldom paying attention to us. They even complain that we are "too demanding". We may have demanded because we are pressed for time and threats of not graduating are scaring us but we do it politely and with all the respect they may not have earned. Perhaps they have forgotten that we want to graduate, and to do so we need their help since they are the obstacles in achieving complete requirements. We frequently go to your repulsive institution only to find that our efforts are in vain because your instructors are acting like Prima Donna's. They also inform us, not too politely, that they are busy and do not have the time. Why thank you, your highnesses but in case you have not noticed, we too are very busy. Maybe now is the perfect time to apply your lessons in Time Management since you seem to be doing things abysmally. Another solution to your gruesome problem is planning. You know that thing, where you schedule activities and inform us when you're available so our efforts will not be futile. There are so many ways to solve these issues where a win-win situation can be made possible without resorting to grumpy reactions or even physical violence. In times of desperation, we can always set aside our previous issues and work hard to achieve our goals. We have similar goals. You want to get rid of us and bleed us out of whatever money we have left while doing so. We want to escape from this prison and finally face the rest of the world. So with all due respect, let us act civilized. It is high time you treat us like adult human beings and we too are due your full respect. After all, we, the battle weary students are the ones paying for the remodeling you have been doing to bring about the facade of looking like a "normal" institution. A word of advice from a person who has stayed for four years, maybe you can start with the inside (rest rooms, classrooms etc.) instead of useless gates and such.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this letter. I hope we won't be seeing each other or your institution after graduation, a mere 8 days away!
Your humble minion,
Sunny Kind Of Wonderful
