Rawr means I love you in dinosaur

I have a strange relationship with my ex-boyfriend. Whenever I feel down, I turn to him to cheer me up and he does a brilliant job of it. Whenever I feel elated at a recent success, he is the first one I want to talk to about it. We have been together for a year and when we broke up, it was terrible as some break ups go. Even then, we were still communicating and eventually we became close friends, even closer than we had been before. After 4 years, he has become my best pal. We may not have been a success as a couple but as friends, we are certainly rocking it. I am at a stage in my life where I feel like a failure because jobs are hard to come by for fresh grads, through it all he has been my one-man cheering squad. I never hesitate to tell him anything, and he has been very patient with me. I do not know any other guy pal who can bear to listen to my woes, nor any of my girl friends who I can speak to with the same honesty as I talk to him. He is not perfect; he is actually a very forgetful person and it is one of the most annoying things that I hated about him when we were together. He also tends to tease me and mock me, which in a boyfriend is a very annoying attitude but a very endearing one in a friend, no awkwardness involved.  My ex-boyfriend is my rock in the sea of chaos. This is getting dramatic but it is true. Its how I feel. And there’s no one else in my life who has done as much as he did and is currently doing. I love him, of course. But I am safe in the thought that we will never be together again, I do not think I can handle a relationship right now, I am like the infamous Tumblr meme: doomed to be forever alone. 

Time and then again

Getting older means getting new perspectives on past books I have read. I read the Belgariad series by David Eddings when I was about 8 years old and I loved it. I read it again this year, 13 years later, and I disliked it. Timelessness is a true test of a book's greatness and David Eddings books have never done it for me. It was a disappointment. I read the Potter series, Tolkien's books, Narnia series, Enid Blyton, Charles Dickens, Arthur Conan Doyle at around that time period and when I read it again a decade or so later, it still holds the same magic, maybe even better. I was irritated with the pace of the Belgariad series, the characters were one dimensional, I find it dull. I think I'll try re-reading them again, maybe I'll find that old spark which made me read them when I was 8. Or maybe I was just a bad judge of books then, I remembered being enamored with Sidney Sheldon books, reading all his books in one summer, and years later, I find them too shallow.

A book that changed your life

Once, during a Christmas away from home, I asked for only one thing: a Harry Potter book. I did not get my wish. The one who ran the the errand of buying the book bought me something else instead. I was furious, how dare that person presume to buy another book instead of the Harry Potter series which is the best fantasy series in the entire world?! The Potter books were sold out and that person bought the book which looked as interesting as Harry Potter. I received The Hobbit, a book by JRR Tolkien. I did not know who he was back then, I was in grade school and was not aware there were other books written aside from Harry Potter (HP was the center of my bookworm existence). I can vividly recall sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at The Hobbit while shedding tears of bitterness at not being able to know what happens next in the Harry Potter series. I refused to read the book, until one day when we went to the beach and as I was and still am a very unsociable creature and having exhausted the meager supply of books in my aunt's cabinet and have deemed to read a Danielle Steel novel (who I really don't like even then) because of lack of other books, I bought The Hobbit. I read it and I fell in love. It started my romance with epic fantasies, the genre of books which for me is the greatest of them all. It takes great imagination to envision a world, a country, a land with such intricate stories that even when read a thousand times over by different people, will still hold magic among the pages.

For the love of the beautiful game

What I miss the most about Football is cheering for it. I miss staying up in the early hours, my hands sweating with anticipation, that tingly feeling in the stomach, the alertness in my brain readying myself for anything and everything that could happen in 90+ minutes. I miss cheering, crying, laughing, hating—all the addictions of a football fan. I tell you, being a football fan is more than the cumulative effect of the upper and downer drugs in the world. The feeling of community from football fans from around the globe is beautiful. It is on times like these when I believe in the power of humanity. You see, even if we are so far apart, we have a common love; Football is a beautiful game. 

Not a movie review.

A Bout de Souffle (Breathless)

Jean-Luc Godard (1960)

I have a fascination for black and white movies. I find them romantic. I love unconventional stories. This film is a wonderful movie to watch. Jean Seberg looks ethereal, the American in France who falls for a Michel (sometimes his name), a crook. I love their conversations, reminds me of another favorite film of mine; Before Sunrise/Sunset.
Next film is La Vita e Bella (because my favorite F1 driver loves it and I heard it's really good) and M, a German film.

Books and Chocolates go hand in hand

Books I bought for less than 200 php. Amazing finds. And then some chocolates. ;)

p.s. I do not know what the fuck is going on with Blogspot but my photos have disappeared and are replaced by a black box with an exclamation point. What the bloody fuck

forever a nerd

Got my first paycheck (from my part time online job) and the first thing I could think of is, "What book should i buy?". It's not quite a large amount so I'll have to budget it but then again, it's my first paycheck from doing something I love=writing. :)

It is quite all right to judge a book by its cover, nowadays. People did work hard to make them attractive.

the story of my first story

I wrote my first story when I was 12 years old. It was for a school writing assignment. I wanted to impress my English teacher because she was kind of like Miss Jenny in Matilda. I had a lot of favourite teachers when I was in grade school but this English teacher (who I could not remember the name today, but I remember her as an indistinct, plump figure with curly hair and a kind smile—she was just a substitute then) was my most favourite of them all. So we were told to write a short story as our final assignment for that school year and I wanted to write the best story ever but I ended up consuming an entire notebook plus a few pages of writing paper attached haphazardly to the notebook, it was not a short story. I thought everyone was impressed by my efforts; they kept borrowing to read it and said it was real good. Of course, we were sixth graders back then so it’s not really as impressive as it sounds. I found out my teacher never checked the notebooks. She placed them in a cupboard and allowed dust to gather until I unearthed them and saved the notebooks from oblivion. I was bitterly disappointed and vowed never to put that kind of effort in school projects thus the procrastination started. It was not my first story, I’ve been constructing stories in my mind since I learned how to think aka since I started reading books. Sometimes they are stories from books I’m reading, when I’m not fully satisfied with the stories and wanted to add a bit of a personal touch to them, hence the editing started. My mind is like the universe where I travel in my own personal TARDIS to different times, dimensions and worlds (since I can't deal with reality that well). COOL.COOL.COOL

ALLONS-Y!

David Tennant is a brilliant man. 

He's Gone.

It's official. Strange, I feel...nothing. Perhaps it is because I have already said my goodbyes. Or maybe it is just the initial shock. He's truly gone. Goodbye Skipper. An era has ended in the Emirates. Goodbye.

Autographs and grim stars

I have this pet peeve about famous people who sign autographs looking so grim or sullen. I was just watching this video of Sebastian Vettel grimly signing autographs.If I were a fan in that position, right in front of him, and a few inches away where we are breathing the same air, well I’d be very excited. Imagine that, a person I look up to who is always seen laughing and smiling on videos is looking so grim while signing fan autographs. It would be disappointing and I don’t think I’d want his autograph anymore. I love Seb and all and his hand, which is bandaged for unknown reasons, must hurt but at least he should smile for the fans or give a little grin. Not to keep our hopes up or anything but just to be really decent to the people behind the fence who went through a lot of trouble to get his autograph. It happened to me before, it was in this political movement concert which features a lot of local bands and my ultimate lead singer of a local band crush will be playing. Well we went to the stage, illegally, and watched the band play just a few inches from us. I was screaming inside, it was an excellent view. We waited to take pictures with him after the show, a local TV show was interviewing him and a few other girls were already taking pictures, and when our turn came well, it was disappointing because he was looking so grim and did not even smile during the photo. My heart, which until that moment had ballooned to a bursting point, deflated. It was disappointing really and I was an unhappy fan after everything we’ve gone through to get there. It’s difficult being in their place, I know that and it can be really tiresome having to sign autographs and take pictures and smile in every one of them but don’t you think they should give us a decent appearance that they are happy that we’re there for them? Huh. If I were to be a star one day, I’d definitely smile even if my face hurts from always smiling.

My one and only photo with a celebrity I liked

The heroine takes comfort in forgetting

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd

B.U.M.

I am currently living the bum life.

• B – Boring
• U – Uh-oh
• M – Maddening

Bum. But there’s always a silver lining for every dark cloud which hovers, Eeyore-like, over my head. 

   11  Realizations

1.  I have had two boyfriends but I have never been on an official date. (The date that involves dining out, talking, and getting to know each other) Not a single date.
2.   I used to think that I could live under a rock forever. Living the Patrick Star life of sleep, eat, tv/internet, eat and sleep. Now I don’t. Life is for living and staying inside my room for a million years does not seem like a good prospect now.
3.   I am desperate for a job. I want to try out writing. I never realized how serious i was about writing as a career until I started applying for writing jobs and getting rejected in every single one.
4.   I need books. Books are my companions. I need them as much as I need air, water and food. It is vital that I read or else I’ll go stupid.
5.   I became stupid. Wow, I miss lectures. So much that I started listening to online lectures about English, Literature, Art and philosophy. If I ever get the chance to study again, I’d definitely take them up.
6. §  Writing is difficult. When I was younger, I have this idea of myself as a Superman-Writer. I could write anything and everything. Just give me pen and paper and I‘d write. Now that I’m older I realize that I am a Clark Kent too. By day I am ordinary and when the world is getting desperate, Superman comes out.
7.   Money matters. In life it does. It helps keep the world going. Yes it does not make the world go round by itself but it is one important factor. Gone are the days when bargaining things for skills could keep you alive. Now you need money.
8.   Never count your chicks before they are hatched. ‘Tis true what the famous line says; if you forget a life lesson it will keep coming back until you’ve put it to heart. I am cocky because I can write and speak better than most people. It is a heady talent to be able to do that among my peers, of course reality comes to give you a much needed bitch slap; there will always be someone lesser and better than  you so away with the cockiness.
9.   Hate is vitriol. You can love a person but that does not mean you have to like her. I am irritated by stupidity. I fear stupidity because it is crippling. Stupidity will make me a lesser person, stupidity will not make me appreciate great novels, stupidity will hinder my learning and stupidity will cripple my writing. Stupidity is a choice. Never choose stupidity.
10.   Failure is inevitable. Especially after College. I have tried thrice and have failed thrice. Third time was never the charm. I have doubted myself and I have consoled myself.
11. Keep going. I tell myself to do just that. My wallpaper says, “What’s holding you back?” My fears, self doubts, insecurities. Now that the question has been answered, i now pose a challenge to myself; Everyone deserves a chance to fly. So I will.

Hello Giggles!

Most magazines cater to the superficial demands of a woman; vanity. Somehow they never get to the real issue; personality. I have been following Hello Giggles! for quite a while but I only got to read their articles now and what I’ve read have been really good. Sometimes their articles are short but poignant, they tackle the simplest things about being a girl and it makes the reader feel a companionship with the writers. The writers are mostly actors, musicians and performers. They write really well and it’s like having an online magazine for a best friend. BFF’s talk about anything and everything and it’s what this website is all about. In their ‘About Us’ section, they mentioned the words lady friendly and standard boys club, the latter which they find unappealing, most magazines nowadays seem to be all about finding and keeping the right guy and hooking up or sex which for me is very shallow and it endorses women as boy crazy. Imagine how boys would think when reading magazines that only talk about those issues, is that what really goes on in girls brains? Fashion and beauty magazines are fine but they tend to make the readers insecure and insecurity is a girl’s worst vice and magazines like that tend to foster the idea that we have to aspire to the model’s looks to be truly beautiful. It’s all so phony. Hello Giggles is a fresh relief, reading them makes you feel good about yourself.


Update: I do not find this site as interesting as when it started out. Now it just has photos of nails and stuff....dull.

Drowning my sorrows in loud music.

Jon Snow

I refuse to make a mediocre article for my first assignment. I refuse to make mediocre stuff. This is a rant. My birthday sucked. I never felt it as a happy occasion, I'm blaming it on Jon Snow and GRRM. Ah,damn you GRRM for what you did. I am thoroughly unsettled by the whole affair and I don't think I can see any silver lining to what happened. I am now an Eeyore. A dark cloud hovers above my head and spurts occasional rain showers. I am also jobless, unemployed, stuck in a rut; classic signs of a failure. And then the Breaker of Promises or the One with Words that don't Count made me hope again, and subsequently crushed my hopes. There is nothing there. NOTHING. I berate myself but i often find that I'm too lazy to nag or self flagellate. Perhaps because I am waiting for the calls-that-never-came. They said a week, it's almost Thursday and still nothing. Rejection is terrible, this one will hurt even more because I initiated it. I actually had the courage to send go by myself. Of course it was all in vain. I should really get used to this by now. This post is called Jon Snow because...argh.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush.

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

--------Mary Elizabeth Frye

My life held together by scotch tape

Scotch Tape is a very important tool in keeping things together. My phone broke and only scotch tape holds it together. The frame in my glasses fell apart and now I feel like Harry Potter whose glasses were held together by scotch tape, plus it's lopsided. I had a great weekend at the beach. Only Monday came and sucked it all out. There's something horrible about Mondays. Perhaps it's the fact that after having enjoyed a weekend of bliss, more than half the world's population would now have to get back to their respective and boring jobs. or maybe students going back to the sludge of school. My Monday was made terrible because of unwelcome talks regarding my future. I seriously cannot abide stupid people. Gah. What a bad start to the week! Oh and its Yoann's birthday. Happy birthday to my first football crush.
BTW, I am now a Formula 1 fan. A newbie but I'm already rooting for RBR-Renault.

Midnight in Paris

Perhaps it's the Paris of the golden age we are all looking for. That is what the Woody Allen film surmises. I guess that's true. We are always looking for that golden era, not the reality we face today. 

Now that I'm registered at Pottermore...

After what felt like centuries of trying to submit my email to Pottermore.com, they finally accepted it. That,my friends is how difficult it is to go to Hogwarts. Probably a million other fans like me clicking the submit button and getting frustrated for the insufferable resistance of the website to accept our email addresses. So now all we do is wait for the 31st of July to get our owls from Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Since it's quite a long wait, i have made a to-do list of the usual things we need in Hogwarts.

Here's my 9 things to do at Diagon Alley since I am now registered at Pottermore:

1. Go To Gringgots and exchange my currency for galleons, sickles and knuts.

2. Get measured for robes at Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions

3. Check out books at Flourish and Blotts

4. Buy an owl at the Eylops Owl Emporium

5. Check out the Apothecary

6. Visit Weasley's wizard wheezes

7. Ogle at broomstick display (while planning to apply for Quidditch)

8. Most Importantly: Buy a wand at Ollivander's

Pottermore

How do fans know JK Rowling has not forgotten them? This website. To the fans of the series who may be experiencing signs and symptoms similar to that of an alcoholic whose supply of alcohol has been cut off permanently, this website will be the answer to the fans' call for a group therapy session similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. I can't wait util the 23rd of June!

Soft kitty on Google Guitar

soft kitty

I was a Teenage Otaku

I had such a fun morning sitting in front of my computer checking out the list of anime songs. I was once an Otaku, I didn't realize how much I missed it until I listened to some old songs from last night. Just listening to the opening theme of Yu Yu hakushu made me reminisce all the great anime I've seen since i was a child. I'm forever a geek.

G'bye captain

A PREMATURE GOODBYE. HE DID NOT GO. BARCELONA BIDS ARE RIDICULOUS. ARSENAL SAYS NO. WE STILL HAVE HIM. AMEN.

So it's final.

Wenger gave the go signal.
Barcelona officials to meet with his agents.
Deal starts.
Arsenal wants 50+Barcelona player.
Barcelona offers 30+player.

Goodbye captain. I never saw much of you this season. And we had quite a shitty one. I guess it's as shitty for you too. Nevertheless, I must say my adoration for you has been tainted by the previous summer's transfer saga which put a stake in the hearts of most Gooners. But you were our captain and we still love you. Truth of the matter is that we can never keep you for too long. You may be wearing an Arsenal shirt but your heart bleeds of Barcelona's colors. I would have wanted to keep you longer in the club because I want to see you raise a trophy wearing the captain's armband. Skeptics never liked seeing you wear the armband. They say you do not have enough experience, enough drive, enough maturity to command your team mates. But I disagree with them.  We see you on the pitch and we see an Arsenal captain who is a commanding presence on midfield. You were exceptional on the field and with that, you guided your teammates to scoring goals. You were a leader. Off the field, your teammates treat you as they would a very close and well-respected friend. Skipper, they call you. But looks like you're time with us is final coming to an end.

I have a lot of issues of your transfer. This is the major one. Barcelona is a club whose meteoric rise to the top of the footballing world is due to their first team. Their first team consists of the same roster of players who've played at every game, give or take a few injured ones. Where would you be playing then? Their midfield is already congested with brilliant play makers. Are you just going to be a sub? I'd hate to see that because you're worth more than that. And you need to play as much as possible next season, because frankly you have not been playing for a long time. Is it too late to hope that Barcelona will not be able to afford your asking price of 40 million?! They don't even want to pay the asking price. Even if they throw in players from their team, the unfortunates who were not able to play most games like Thiago and Bojan, you're still worth 40million and more. And we need the cash to splash on experienced players to replace one of the same caliber as you.

Okay that's enough for now. You're going. Really going. I'll miss you, but not so much since not seeing you play at many games this season prepared me for the inevitable goodbye. I hope you'll still leave a place for us in your heart. Cheesy. But you can never forget the club who took you in when Barcelona never had much use for you then. The club who raised you to greater heights in your footballing career. The club whose manager nurtured and trained you. The team whose members, players and coaches and others alike called you captain and gave you respect and loyalty. The fans who cheered and cried for you. We are The Arsenal and we bid you goodbye and great luck.

ERUDITE CONCEPTS

If you're not familiar with the work of Boswell D. Rabbitsmith, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems: (He also makes his living as a comedian by the name of Steve Wright....)


1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How can you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything seems to be coming your way, maybe you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not being smart enough to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... so far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death...twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

33 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

Blast from the past

An interesting fact of life is that insipid creatures of the likes of that which we shall henceforth call Yellow. That creature of vile matter should not have been released into society where the creature strives to perfect the art of evil. Ah, well...This creature exists so people can always have someone to overthrow or destroy and perhaps show the bitchy side of every one the creature encounters. 
That gifted creature has powers enhanced by subtlety...look not into its innocence but to the dark, murky muck the creature hides behind that pleasant exoskeleton. Creatures such as Yellow have attitudes that range from subtly evil to full blasted evilness. The dastardly creatures can be identified by the following signs and symptoms:
-lies, lies, lies
-tall tales
-whiny
-sudden interest in people/stuff the creature has previously dissed but upon discovery of your great like for that matter, has taken interest in it too
-kleptomania-like tendencies
-gives out false notices, false advice, false information
-false smile
-crap, all crap


When these do occur, find the closest cave and hide. Or when you're looking for trouble, face the creature and DESTROY, there is NO room for error because the creature has life-retaining abilities from absorbing the evil auras.


rawr~


so bite me yellow, and i'll bite your head off.

The wisdom of Elizabeth Lemon

How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say. My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.

“You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams.” 

Tina Fey’s 25 Funniest Liz Lemon-isms

Sometimes there are no words to describe your emotions so you're left with GIF's...

Note: an ineffective mantra: i will study, i will study, i will study, i will study….later. 

procrastination mode for 3 days…and counting.

So I’ll be channeling Sheldon/Raj/Leonard/Howard’s genius-ness to get through the test

I mean, it’ll work right? I’m starting to panic since its less than 30 days the BIG TEST (like REALLY BIG TEST) and I have not managed to get through my study schedule. BUT even if I am fully aware of that, I still don’t have the MOTIVATION to study

When I start thinking about it, i become stressed out and turn to other things to make me happy, like go to Tumblr, watch a movie and FOOTBALL etc…

So tomorrow, while answering the test i’ll probably be staring really hard at the question trying to find a clue about the answer

And seeing other people finish faster than me and laugh about it like it’s no big deal while i sweat my ass off answering:

So I start answering really fast because I want to end this torture of 500 item questions with multiple choices…

And when I finish, it will all seem like such a success

Until I know the results which is on the next day (Doom…Doom…Doom)

But until then i’ll be like

Of Friends and Football

Tinkerbell tweeted me that Princess T-Rex invited us to her palace…

So I had to go to the reviews because this is an opportunity I must NOT miss. And we were already thinking of all the great fun we’d be having…

While we were pretending to listen to the rationalizer, we were like:

all the wonderful happy sparkly stuff we’ve been imagining…

.

UNFORTUNATELY for me, I was not able to join the “party”

BUT went to the mall with my mom and my (EVIL) sister instead

just kidding, the mall-thing went great

And then night fell and I watched MESSI be awesome during the champions league finals:

And oh yeah, Barcelona won

And Abidal lifts the trophy (teary eyed moment)

Which makes ARSENAL the only club to beat BArcelona in the champions league

So in the end it turned out okay, even if i did miss the “party”

disclaimer: superbly amazing GIFs not mine FYI

PS: this post is in reply to keropi’s post. heheh. xD

and to Princess T Rex and Wise Grandma

Serial (Book) Killers.

If they give me a test about the Game Of Thrones series, I would have aced it. I love the series, it consumes my mind, body and soul. I have long suffered for a series that offers quality as great as LOTR, HP, CoN that finally getting my hands on these eBooks became the core of my entire being. It's not easy to find quality books nowadays. Trust me, I've been through a lot of crap. The only good thing that came out of reading those crap books was that it sharpened my bibliophile crap-detection skills. I hate/despise/loathe/abhor shallow novels. Before, i was just a listless book addict reading everything that came my way without thought for what it was about. All i could do was read, read and read like a man lost in a desert for centuries finally quenching his thirst. Now, I look to quality assurance regarding books. Of course I still read anything i can get my hands on, but I now look to quality more than quantity. if I could make a list of all the books ive read, there would be thousand of them but only a few i could remember for quality. Those books that really touched me and made me think are few and far between. It's a shame because I live in a province where books are scarce. But now with the power of the internet in my hands, I can quench this thirst of mine with something more "edible" for bookworming. Right now, I'm taking my time with Game Of Thrones series. This book needs not fast reading (as I'm usually wont to do since I am a fast reader) but rather take things slow since this book is also a precarious read. My favorite characters could die in just an instant so I have to savor their parts in the series.
I love books.

A Life Without Passion Is No Life at All

I woke up to a cold draft from my open window. It was raining, not as hard as i wished it would be but drizzling. The moment my brain cleared from all the cobwebs of sleep, I had one conviction: I will not go to the simulation tests today. And my mind was made up and nothing can change it.
A friend once told me she has a technique every morning when she feels too lazy to get up, she stops thinking about it. Instead, she'll get up and do her early morning routine instinctively. It was a pretty good advice. It worked.
But I can't keep on doing this. I can't keep on having to push myself out of bed just to get myself to go and answer 500 test questions when I would rather be reading books or doing football stuff.
These are the moments when I feel like I'm walking endlessly into a tunnel and in the end there's a wall of loose plastic blocking my way, I keep pushing towards exit but I get suffocated with the plastic instead. It clings to my body and I couldn't get a breathe out.

Remember when you fell in love with football

from: inbedwithmaradona

Winter is Coming

addicted. 

I even dedicated a blog to it. 

How Shopping helped me...

Well it started with an impulse to buy clothes. I've been wanting to do this since i got the "moolah" from my wonderful aunts but it took a back seat due to PRC stuff. And now I finally did it! I missed spending money! i missed trying out clothes! I missed the mall! I feel like a recharged battery! --the comparison sucks but wth, feel really good. xoxx
Shallow random ramblings...

The last days of Disco

I think I might have graduated. I do have photos as proof. But that feeling of having triumphantly finished 4 of grueling college years seems like a lost memory now.

-end-

Just recently I watched a CNN interview that talked about coin flipping phenomenon. You flip a coin when in doubt over two decisions, but it matters not what the result ends up with because when the coin is up in mid-air, you get to know how you really feel because at that moment, you wish for what you really feel to happen. 

-end-

I don't give a fuck about British Royalty and their Royal Wedding but the way the Philippine media has been slobbering all over it sickens me. Media needs to take a step back and look at the way they are now. Celebrities lives do not make substantial news stories. You have so much influence over the public that you might want to use that to smarten us up, not further dumb us down.

-end-

I have no idea what the hell i'm going to do with my life. 

-end-

if i could just spend the rest of my days reading, watching football and tv series and movies, and eating and basically just doing nothing...

-end-

If the world were really to end, then why are wasting so much of our time over things we do not care about?

-end-

Dear glaciers, we'd really appreciate it if you don't melt. 

-end-

Dear HBO, continue making awesome TV series'. And American Gods?! Yes please.

-end-

In The Midst Of A Lackadaisical Week in My humdrum life

Boxed up.

Sheldon | Portrayed by Andrew Garfield in the short-movie “I’m here”

When your friends ask you to put a box on your head for a photo opportunity. HAHA.

GOOD OMENS

This bears blogging as I cannot express my delight in 140 characters in Twitter (plus i get fail whaled). My two favorite fantasy writers (who are still alive and well) agreed to make Good Omens into a 4 part miniseries (This is the part where I try so hard not to type everything in caps lock). This is so fucking awesome!!! My God, that book was one of the best I've read!!!

Football improves my european languages skills

For example,
"Puta Madre" was shouted by Cesc
That translated= Mother Well-you-know-what-comes next

Or the British style english
"F***ing what! What! F*** you!" which Wayne Rooney screamed at the Tv cameras

And who could forget Didier Drogba's shout of "F***ing disgrace" which is now a classic.

Hugo lloris shouting incoherent French bad words which I will soon research. hahaha. I got merde out of that rant.

And german words I shall never forget:
"Scheisse" "Gottverdammt" "Dummkopf"

love football.

Football keeps me up at night and early on the next day.

11:00 on a Sunday night and I am faithfully stationed in front of my computer, waiting for live streams from football matches around Europe. Time and date ceases to matter. My state of anxiety is on the moderate scale; focus narrowed on only this game and nothing more beyond that. This is my life right now. And if things go as I planned, I'd be doing the same thing in the future. Maybe even be writing about it as a professional. God I love football. So much passion and life in one sport. It keeps me alive during the dull dreary moments of my life. 

The above photo is my future workplace(one could dream). I've been a fan of Opta for a while now and I've loved how they get the most accurate statistics about football to keep fans and journalists informed. One of my favorite bloggers got a visit to the headquarters and he tweeted that it had monitors where you can watch and compare videos of any and all things related to football. Imagine that. Simply heaven. 

GAGA KA! -Words of Wisdom about love and lust from Mr. Psyche Lecturer

"Anak, huwag na huwag kang magpapakatanga! Kung sinampal ka nang nobyo mo, uulit-ulitin niya yan! Kaya ngayon pa lang hiwalayan mo na siya! Gamitin mo lang konti pero hiwalayan mo din!" 

-about early signs of an abusive boyfriend.

"Pag may nagtangkang mang-rape sa'yo, kausapin mo at pakiusapan ang rapist. Ang tingin nyan sa iyo ay hindi tao kundi object lang! kaya kailangan mong ipakita na tao ka!"

-on rape

"kayong mga babae pag may mga boyfriend kayo nawawala nag independence nyo, lahat nalang nang desisyon tinatanong pa sa boyfriend! Huwag kayong magpaka-bobo! Hidni dapat 100% ang ibinibigay nyo! Dapat magtira kayo para sa sarili nyo!"

-on girls in relationships

"Ang Diet ay para ma-control ang cholesterol etc. intake! Hindi para pumayat! kung gusto nyong pumayat mag exercise kayo! Hindi diet ang solusyon para pumayat kayo!"

-on diet and exercise

Look For Them At Game Shows.

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Great Pinoy Circus! Here we showcase a plethora of circus freaks to appease your voyeuristic tendencies! The best thing about our circus is that we broadcast them LIVE OB TELEVISION! No other circus can do that for you! Wait, I hear a question in the crowd. What makes these freaks stand out from other circus freaks, you say? Well, our circus freaks are actually NORMAL people. These normal people will do anything and everything just to grab fistfuls of money from our wonder, magnificent and truly humble ring master! They’ll sing, dance, act and they’ll definitely cry. They’ll strip off their dignity just to get money! Money! Money! Money which we have in abundance, of course, ladies and gentlemen! 


Now, a warning before we begin when you look at them, please look at them the way our studio looks at them, as nothing but freaks! Do not let even attempt to think they are human beings because they are mere circus performers to entertain you! These freaks are from the poorest sector of our country! That’s why we find it easy to exploit their kind. They are so piss poor they will do anything for just a bit of money! 


What about our ringmaster?! Well he just recently flaunted his wealth in magazine spreads. Did you see his yacht or his mansions?! He’s richer than the devil ladies and gentlemen! He gives out money to these poor freaks like he’s handing out candies! No big deal for him! But of course, in return he wants entertainment. The kind we Filipinos love so much! We want to watch our fellow countrymen embarrass themselves on television; this is reality TV to the truest sense of the word! Is it some form of bullying?! What a question! It’s not bullying if we’re paying them for it ladies and gentlemen! Look at their eager little faces, they want to entertain you! It’s not bullying if they participate in it! Can’t you see how much our ringmaster loves these freaks? He hugs them, cries with them and gives them money! He shows a wonderful sense of generosity and kindness and by doing this our ratings are sky high!!! We are number one!  

Well looks like our show is about to start, so take your seats and enjoy the show!

Here I Go Again

There are two opposing sides to the RH Bill. The Anti-RH mostly made up of devout Catholics and the Pro-Rh supporters, Catholics or none Catholics alike. I never expected to be exposed to ardent supporters of both sides during our board reviews but lo and behold, here comes a lecturer from an esteemed Catholic university from the northern region who supports the RH Bill strongly because he is pro-life.

Pro-Life; a term I absolutely hate because it implies that the other side is anti-life. And what's worse is that the people coining that term comes from the religious sector. Now this lecturer, Mr. Anti, talked about how we, of the medical community, must appeal not to our emotions but rather to our conscience and knowledge. That we of all people should know that this bill's end result is abortion. He also said that if poverty is the problem, then give them jobs. At that moment, the expression on my face could be described in three letters=WTF.

Today, on the other hand, we got a lecturer who seems to have a better grasp on the current reality of the Philippine nation. This lecturer, Mr. Pro, explicitly said that laws like the RH Bill should be passed because this bill will help educate the poor. The poor and uneducated sector which comprises of almost more than half of the nation is the ones with the large and increasing number of children. They are the ones contributing to the greater percentage of maternal and child mortality in our country. Giving them jobs will not solve our problems. Mr. Anti has also forgotten the fact that we are a poor country. Our economy cannot sustain giving jobs to everyone.

I remembered an economics professor once told our class that the wealth of the Philippines is distributed in three parts. She illustrated it using an inverted pyramid. The greatest portion of the wealth, the bottom part of the pyramid which must belong to the poor is owned by the few rich Filipinos, the middle portion by the middle class and the topmost, the smallest portion belongs to the poor sector. This is our reality.

Just recently I watched a video by Juana Change, at the beginning it shows housewives fighting against a bill which they know so little of. The only knowledge they obtained about the bill is from what the priest has been lecturing them. Again, the word Pro-life is being abused.  Love that video because it was deceptively simple yet it’s what we call “sagad sa buto”. 

I Want To Make Them Feel

I am not a fighter in the literal sense of the word. I do not fight because I am always the weaker one. Verbal battles I avoid because my sarcasm flies over people's heads therefore I lose. But give me pen, a laptop or a PC and I will fight through the written word. If you ask me what I can do best for my country, I can write. I want to write because I want the people to read my words to let them know I care and that they should care too. The Filipinos mainly do not care. Or they may take an interest, up the sword, swing it a few times, get tired then find another more interesting subject. I do not want to be stuck in mud my whole life. I cannot withstand a job that I do not care about. It is a job, loveless. I want to work. I want work with feelings because I need to have emotions in order to be alive. I want to fight for my country through the written word. I want to participate in fighting for what I believe in. Right now I truly care about the RH Bill, I support the bill because I want my fellow Filipinos to have an informed choice, and I want the bill because I want them to have more choices in reproductive Health. I was educated as a health professional and therefore i think as one. I let go of my previous religion because it hinders me. I do not like the ones in high office, the officials who love to being in front of cameras and acting like they are in a drama series. I do not like that they insist on having mass. And I despise that those priests frequently use up half of their homily time talking about how wrong the RH Bill is. Let the people decide for themselves. You are not their brains. They have one. Let them use it.

Rome Is Burning

Japan with the earthquakes. Apparently, its normal occurrence in their country and I'm not too aware of that fact. But what worried me about the recent earthquakes is the hindrance to their rebuilding process. Japan is rebuilding. It has taken its stand against earthquakes and tsunamis with grace and dignity which I envy them for. On the other parts of the world, Libya, currently being run by Gaddaffi is now being bombed by other nations. Yet Gaddafi stood proud on a pulpit and announced to his supporters, he will not yield, they will win this war. He may be a dictator but I envy his confidence, his self assurance.

Look at the rest of the world, fighting for what they believe in. Look at them now, we were once just like them. We fought the most beautiful war against our own dictator years past. It was a beautiful war because it was a war of peace, the people stood up and declared they want to fight for freedom. It was a war of peace because arms were taken down, people held hands and prayed. I am a Filipino. I am proud to be one. But I am not proud of the way we behave. Envision a flood filled city, heavy downpours, people struggling to find shelters, amidst the chaos are the opportunistic people grabbing and stealing what could be sold. During a fire, there are so many helping hands...most of those help themselves to salvageable unburnt stuff to steal. Threats of a calamity may scare people in other countries to run towards safety. We remain in our homes because we don't want to leave our appliances and livelihood despite imminent death. A volcano is spewing hot ashes all over the town yet people still stay because they don't want to leave their houses and livelihood behind. A car crash happens, Filipinos flock closer to the site. The news feeds us with sensationalism bullshit. we receive chain texts/mails/tweets about ridiculous stuff and believe them without checking their validity. When we are against something, our best action is to make a rally/strike. We hate heavy traffic yet we are the ones contributing to it by not following street rules. We have grown stupid and senseless. We act like headless chickens.
We were not satisfied with EDSA1, we made an EDSA2...a shadow of the first. Then came EDSA3, an insult to the real EDSA 1 revolution. Thousands of country folk flock to the city to find jobs. They are uneducated, what has the city to offer them but the only available job of begging and stealing?! We have government officials who do not care about the people. We have teachers in schools who do not teach us to think but rather to comply.   I hate how much we're stuck in a rut. I hate how we tolerate all these. I hate how no one stands up, and people stand up with that somebody and wake up the sleeping spirit of nationalism. We were once called the future generation of Filipinos, heroes and martyrs put their hopes on us. Look at us now. Look at where we are. Look how different we are from countries like Japan, and not in a good way. Look at ourselves, decaying from the inside. We have gone rotten. 

What Graduating means for me

In that very moment we step up in that stage and take our diplomas, 

we are but a step closer to reaching the stars. 

Burn Sessions On Paper 4