My Drug dependence. (That refers to YOU, FYI)

Are you struggling with a drug problem that’s spiraled out of control? If so, you may feel isolated, helpless, or ashamed. 

 This has spiraled out of control. I thought I had it all under wraps. But then again, I had several episodes of remission until I finally succumbed to it.

The path to drug addiction starts with experimentation. You  may have tried drugs out of curiosity, because friends were doing it, or in an effort to erase another problem. At first, the substance seems to solve the problem or make life better, so you use the drug more and more.

 The path to drug addiction paved the way for self destruction. I meant to be more independent but now, I depend on YOU for everything. Which just goes to show how utterly spineless I am. Yeah, it was all rainbows and unicorns at first, but then it started to ruin that system I built when you were gone before. the rollercoaster begins again.

 Myths about Drug Addiction and Substance Abuse

MYTH 1: Overcoming addiction is a simply a matter of willpower. You can stop using drugs if you really want to.

• ALL LIES! Willpower is usually the first thing to crumble. In my case, that is. 

MYTH 2: Addicts have to hit rock bottom before they can get better. 

• I've been hitting rock bottom so many times I've lost count, but still I don't get better. 

MYTH 3: Treatment didn’t work before, so there’s no point trying again; some cases are hopeless.

• This isn't true! I'm still holding out hope that there could be an effective treatment out there and I have yet to discover or try it. I don't need time nor space (Since those two just make me miss more) but I need diversionary activity so powerful I eventually forget.

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And this is the part where I realize I could be offending some people by comparing my predicament with drug addiction. See how utterly lame I've become?!
And I've been listening to the same two songs for an hour because of the nostalgic feeling they give me.


I'm sick with it again.

strang and durm

I've been feeling doom and gloom for quite a few days now.
My life sucks. Really.
The minimum number of tests we have each day is 2. For each subject. FML.
I'm so freaking tired of going home to face another night of having to study, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT SINCE MONDAY.

LMAO photo

Sometimes, this can be annoying...

Miss Whoever You Are

You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-You-Are?  You're chicken, you've got no guts.  You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness."  You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, and you're terrified somebody's going to stick you in a cage.  Well, baby, you're already in that cage.  You built it yourself.  And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somaliland.  It's wherever you go.  Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.
-Paul Varjak to Holly Golightly 

but where are you?

Someone just told me I look ugly in my photo. At first, I was like, Okay, he's just teasing, but then he repeated it again and my fragile self esteem went shooting down the drain. So of course, I look for redemption from friends and guess who I thought of first?! Well, you. But you weren't there...and I waited! =(

I know I shouldn't rely on you to make myself feel good again but it's just so freaking addictive. You make me feel like everything else doesn't matter because you still care. When I tell you about it, you consider it in ways that make those annoyances go away, and I know other people can do that for me but you just make it feel more special, somehow. 

This is not good. I'm becoming dependent. 

And you're still nowhere to be found. 

WTF moment: Dreams feel real when we're in them

I just had the strangest feeling that my friend may have told me something life-changing about her but I didn't listen. We were talking  about everything and she may or may not have told me she was going to break up with her boyfriend...or I have just dreamt about it. Waahh!! This is so frustrating! It could have been true, I mean, our conversation did come to that boyfriend part but I'm not so sure about the breaking up thing and I don't want to ask again because she might get hurt that I didn't listen (If it's true) or think I'm confusing dreams with reality again (if untrue). Darn. So I may have learned too much during that day, not only about her but also of my other friends, that's why I must have gotten it confused or something. Too much personal information in just a few hours with different people can leave me feeling woozy.

I'm having my fingers crossed, I hope its untrue. I don't want them to break up. I don't know the guy but they've been together since high school and the apparent reason they'll be breaking up is because of another guy (?!?!). Oh crap, there's that feeling that it could have been true again. Darrrrnnnn...!

What if it was true?! But I really don't remember how I reacted at that time.
I'm crossing my fingers, hoping it's just a dream.
Why can't I remember that part of the conversation?!
It's untrue!
(I hope)

this is so frustrating!

i LOL when i saw this photo!

Gross Things Barcelona Players Say About the Cesc Fabregas Situation

Via the Telegraph:

"After seven years of great service, I thought Arsenal could have granted him his dream move."

The Barca captain is the latest senior player to make loaded remarks about Fabregas's future, joining Xavi, Andres Iniesta and Sergio Busquets.

Puyol added: "Cesc has given everything to Arsenal to try to win a trophy but they haven't matched his expectations.

"I won't say he is in a prison, as we know how privileged we are as football players. But after how clear Cesc made it that he wanted to be in Barcelona, I thought they would have granted him that."

if...

If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me. But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.


from: tumblr.com
http://astroannie.tumblr.com/post/870751447/if-you-are-going-to-fall-in-love-with-me-its-only